open letter from me to me

dear katie, you have no money to speak of untill next payday.  please stop going going to marks and spencers for lunch.  i know their food is delicious and they have percy pigs and the best puds ever (unless mochi can prove you wrong with her eclairs et all) and their lasange is so good id sell an arm for it.  ohhhh all their food is teh sex.  but you haz no money.  stop it now.  eat the food you bring to work.

also, brian and mochi are wrong - the pigeons are out to get you.  there was between 60 and 4 million of them outside your work waiting to poo on you and peck you and give you diseases.  and you arent scared of them anyway, you just dont like them alot.  and they make you yelp.  and squeek. and flinch.  and run away screaming.  but you arent scared.  no.  being scared of birds is irrational.  apparently.  even though you heard the other day of someone being attacked by geese.  and stamped on and everything.  penquins are alright though.  and that parrot that speaks to you on the kings road.  but pigeons are evil and wrong.

also katie - never refer to yourself in the third person again.  its totally twatty.

all my best

sensible katie