Thursday 30 October 2008

climbing in trees with boys

drunk trthis is my friend JC.  drunk.  in a tree.  yes you know whats going to happen.  still though wait till about 2mins 30 secs.  its worth it

f*ck me plumps


seen outside a shop in east london
also those arent even all plumps.  some of them are keewees

Wednesday 29 October 2008

my future wife. possibly.


ok, i have a friend (yes, really!).  lets call her Girl Interrupted.  shes the cute blonde sweetheart to my brunette dirty perv.  recently we were talking and shes agreed that in 9 years time if we are both single then we are to be married.  heck, if im seeing someone in 9 years i may dump them for her blonde goodness.
we have decicded to have 4 cats.  shes promised me regular sex and i have promised to do her ironing.  thats devotion, i hate ironing.  i will cook for her and buy her white chocolate.  and she will give me regular sex.  (sorry to labour the point but its been a while).  here is a pic with me and my intended.  check out the look of jealousy from lesbian in check shirt behind us.  ha ha bitches! shes mine! maybe.  in 9 years.  Girl Interrupted - you complete me whoreface.  i mean home girl.

Tuesday 28 October 2008

on becoming lady on a period stereotype

yesterday, as established was my birthday.  it was a fairly crap birthday all in all.  however i was suprised to find myself blinking back tears in my supermarket.  then i realise ok, period is here.  i hate that i am such a cliche during my period.  im a laid back girl.  i never shout, i never lose my temper, i am, in a word, chill.
but yet...
i have had to stay away from my housemate today as i know im going to be a massive bitch.
i went to supermarket, bought ben and jerrys, cheese and milkshake.  then got hugely pissed off at EVERYONE in the supermarket.
went to bed with hot water bottle.
went out again for chocolate.
refilled hot water bottle.
then cursed myself for the massive amount of horny i get on my period.
fuck.

the incredible likeness of samantha ronson



ok.  first of all where the frack was antm last night living tv?  most haunted live all night?  really? fuck right off!
secondly twice in two days i have been told i look like samantha ronson.  i have never heard this before.  on asking more opinions apparently i do indeed look like the li lo loving one.  now heres my deal, previously i have been told i look like beth orton.  i do indeed concurr.  once i was told i looked like uma thurman.  i disagree wildly but YAY!!! on that site that compares you're face to celebs it came back with selma blair.  again i disagree but YAY!!! once more.  samantha ronson, though, i think is wildly fugly.  shes gotten better of late but i still would not touch her with a 10 foot dildo. (oow).  i appreciate this is a matter of taste and each to their own and hell shes snagged li lo whos hot hot hot and ive enjoyed rude dreams about.  however im sailing on a wave of noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! right now.  mehhh.

text on pic of me courtesy of beloved gay hubbie

Monday 27 October 2008

i haz a blog

blame my flatmate for his nagging.  blame smith. and her funny ass blog.  blame whoever you want.  nontheless i have taken the step into bloogysphere.  well today is my birthday, i have hit 27 (eep, late twenties!) and i must say im not feeling joyfull about it.  but its all going to be ok.  i have glowsticks, i have glitter spray, i have red wine and i have a caramel donut. and i have cheese but that goes without saying, i always have cheese.  if for some reason all cows,goats and sheep died an i was left in a world without cheese im not sure that would be a world for me.
if you are someone who knows me and are reading this you will surely be used to my ramblings and love of cheese.  if however, you are a stranger to me im sorry for the ramblyness.  i really cant help it.  i think so far the highlight of my b'day has been the love from the oogle thread on Afterellen.com.  i have had birthday wishes written on the boobs of a lovely lady for cripes sake.  who couldnt love that? exactly, no one.  
well i shall be settling down for a very lesbian bridget jones stylee evening of the aforementioned treats and america's next top model.  (tyra i salute you and your lovely weaves) then maybe the sex and the city movie.
over and out
strict. xx