sunny day

such a nice day today

oh bollocks

i seem to have hayfever. it sucks arse. my head feels like its going to explode and im wheezing like..... something really wheezy. fuck it

this weekend

i want kfc, pizza, to make a cake, to make bread, to eats lots of cheese, to go to the park and to sort out my ladies birthday present. wish me luck

things women do

im sure that everyone following this blog is a queer lady so im preaching to the converted. theres certain things though, that men just dont seem to do and lovely ladie do. such as

asking "what are you thinking?" or its close cousin "tell me something about you i dont know"
im guilty as sin on this one. what are you thinking is an easy one to answer. you just say what you are thinking duh. but the tell me something one is hard. it requires spontaneous thought, remembering everything you have already told the lady in question and finding an answer that is either interesting/clever or highlariously funny. that not easy peeps.

asking for advice on relationships etc on the interwebs. man dont do this cos they totes never have problems obvs. ahem. and male pride gets in the way of asking. women however want to better themselves and do the right thing. we are just soooo sincere.

talk/read about clothes/fashion/makeup. this comes in a form of look how well dressed she is (read - i totally would) or look at the fucking state of that (read katy perry). im not a fashionista by any means but im severly obsessed with go fug yourself. solange's demise in march madness to audrey o dare (whats one of them when shes at home? id google but i dont want to encourage her) actually makes me want to cry. SWINTON to take the whole thing. see im getting all excited thus proving my point.

talk about books. women love to talk about what they are reading and their favourite books. if you are a queer lady obvs its got to be something highbrow or arty. and the only response to your straight friends reading chick lit must be a roll of the eyes obvs.

be obsessed with cats. men like dogs. dogs are boisterious, exciteable and will try and hump any old stranger. cats are slinky, demure and gracefull. men should love cats cos cats are the women of the animal world. but no, its left to us. and by us i mean queer ladies.