Glitter Lust

long time no blog

2009-07-20T07:03:00.000-07:00

i will try and think of something exciting today. sorry

man, an actual man

2009-06-07T16:55:00.000-07:00

ok i got a comment on my blog by a guy. well done that man. he likes cats, i like cats, all who are sane like cats. bless you Ailurophile.

in other news my girlfriend came out to her sister last night and then to some gay boys. well donr chick, very proud of you

stoosh

2009-05-27T12:17:00.000-07:00

things which are evil and should be stopped

2009-05-27T07:40:00.001-07:00

part 2

i was inspired by D0nna for this post.

same difference

not content with performing in butlins holiday camps same difference will be hitting a gay club in glasgow to perform.

these two muppets were contenders in x factor 2007. observe them singing to each other gazing in each others eyes. they are brother and sister. everything about them is wrong. they are soon to have their own dolls on stardoll which i may buy so i can then melt their heads off. they are, in short, the most annoying people you will ever see or hear.

*from wikipedia -2009 tour
Same Difference announced a 21-date UK tour for March and April 2009, but this was subsequently cancelled. Instead, the duo are co-headlining a 21-dates joint tour with fellow X Factor graduate Leon Jackson.[14]
Unfortunately , due to poor sales of the joint tour, Same Difference and Leon Jackson have now cancelled half of the tour. Same Difference will co-headline the joint tour at Ipswich and Birmingham, plus 7 or more Scottish dates.[15][16] Same Difference will also play a solo one-off concert in Portsmouth. They also have lost their record contract with Syco a month after Leon Jackson, as confirmed by their official website. ha ha sucks to be you same difference.

i feel so dirty for googling them. i need to go and shower

anyway Donna assures me she will deal with them. thank you that woman

whitest girl alive

2009-05-27T06:19:00.000-07:00

happy birthday

2009-05-23T08:09:00.000-07:00

so today is my lady loves 21st. which means she can drink in the usa and everything. also as it stands theres only 6 years between us till october. she is going to her first gay bar and everything. so i hope you have a great day babe, i love you loads and i promise to be with you for the next one

ok lezzie

2009-05-16T14:12:00.000-07:00

you asked for it

and again

2009-05-11T12:37:00.000-07:00

wont embed for some reason
http://www.4shared.com/file/104579692/937534be/MOV00210.html

sunny day

2009-04-26T14:02:00.000-07:00

such a nice day today

oh bollocks

2009-04-25T05:40:00.001-07:00

i seem to have hayfever. it sucks arse. my head feels like its going to explode and im wheezing like..... something really wheezy. fuck it

this weekend

2009-04-23T17:11:00.000-07:00

i want kfc, pizza, to make a cake, to make bread, to eats lots of cheese, to go to the park and to sort out my ladies birthday present. wish me luck

things women do

2009-04-02T17:15:00.000-07:00

im sure that everyone following this blog is a queer lady so im preaching to the converted. theres certain things though, that men just dont seem to do and lovely ladie do. such as

asking "what are you thinking?" or its close cousin "tell me something about you i dont know"
im guilty as sin on this one. what are you thinking is an easy one to answer. you just say what you are thinking duh. but the tell me something one is hard. it requires spontaneous thought, remembering everything you have already told the lady in question and finding an answer that is either interesting/clever or highlariously funny. that not easy peeps.

asking for advice on relationships etc on the interwebs. man dont do this cos they totes never have problems obvs. ahem. and male pride gets in the way of asking. women however want to better themselves and do the right thing. we are just soooo sincere.

talk/read about clothes/fashion/makeup. this comes in a form of look how well dressed she is (read - i totally would) or look at the fucking state of that (read katy perry). im not a fashionista by any means but im severly obsessed with go fug yourself. solange's demise in march madness to audrey o dare (whats one of them when shes at home? id google but i dont want to encourage her) actually makes me want to cry. SWINTON to take the whole thing. see im getting all excited thus proving my point.

talk about books. women love to talk about what they are reading and their favourite books. if you are a queer lady obvs its got to be something highbrow or arty. and the only response to your straight friends reading chick lit must be a roll of the eyes obvs.

be obsessed with cats. men like dogs. dogs are boisterious, exciteable and will try and hump any old stranger. cats are slinky, demure and gracefull. men should love cats cos cats are the women of the animal world. but no, its left to us. and by us i mean queer ladies.

work perks

2009-03-28T15:48:00.000-07:00

so i work in a clothes shop in chelsea, west london. its a very posh area and consequentially gets a bit of celeb action (and select model agency is just across the road so lots of models. which is, well, nice. ive never seen anyone massively stellar in my shop (i keep missing nigella damnit). but the lovely andrea corr (corr being the word) pops in a fair bit. which now means i hang around the fitting rooms like a pervy creep when she tries things on. i informed one of my colleagues of my intention to marry said corr and she told me that andrea corr is dating kevin spacey. oh really? renonowed heterosexual kevin spacey. right then.

the l worst

2009-03-09T16:05:00.000-07:00

608 - lame ass?

im officially scared to watch the last 3 eps of the l word. when you hear how shit something is from everyone whos seen it you have to think "am i really going to subject myself to this?"

as far as ive heard nothing at all is resolved. nothing.

whats happening with tasha and alice?

what was the point of bringing molly back? i love you molly

whats happening with poor max and his baby inside

what about kit and sunset

what was the point of dylena?

does anyone get out of this happy?

if theres any redeeming feature to this ep (funny bits/sex scenes etc) please hollar at me

east london massive

2009-03-09T07:23:00.000-07:00

spotted in stratford east london

oh cock off!

2009-02-19T10:18:00.000-08:00

the brit awards were last night
the winners being thusly

critics choice - florence and the machine - yay!
outstanding contribution - pet shop boys - meh
best british female - duffy - over M.I.A? really people? really?
best british group - elbow - i cant complain at that
international group and album - kings of leon - fair doos
british male - paul weller - yawn
international male - kayne west - i think this is a good call what with the change of direction on the last album
best british album - duffy rockferry - yeah seriouslt why?
best british live act - iron maiden - wtf????
best brish breakthrough - duffy. again.
but, the real fucking kicker - best international female - nominated were beyonce, gabriella cilmi, pink, katy perry, santogold. guess who wone. just fucking guess. how katy perry won over santogold is a mystery, injustice and made me sick up in my mouth

oh snoes

2009-02-03T02:52:00.000-08:00

it snowed. my god did it snow

snoogle

snow angel

this and that

2009-02-01T10:33:00.000-08:00

ok i have nothing important to say. well i never do but what the hey.
so oogle thread is back which is great even though tis a cliquey place. we shall make it fun though. more filth please
it is a snowing here, we have weather from russia. we might get 8 inches which means britain will come to a standstill. i can but hope. id love to be snowed in.
and im getting really into dancing on ice. i hate that ray quinn is so good. annoying gnome faced boy.
i was youtubing yesterday. how come so much good music comes from scandinavia and sweden in particular? the hives, the concretes, the sounds, ida maria, the knife, alphabeat, jose ganzales, lykki li, ABBA (yes ABBA), peter, bjorn and john et all. is ther something in the water there? also if you wikipedia bands from sweden theres loads i have never heard of but all with great names. homy hogs anyone?

any other bands/singers i should check out?

Super kezz!!!

2009-01-21T15:19:00.000-08:00

i think i have posted this pic before but look! its super kezz!!! charmer of ladies, queen of dancing and being hit on by men in gay bars, arty type par excellence and my dodgem buddy. and she posed for a pic with me even though i looked more emo than newt in hollyoakes.

WORSHIP HER!!!!

also, not to self, wear padded bras more. newt from hollyoakes probably has more boobage than me in the pic

msn

2009-01-21T14:56:00.000-08:00

i love team msn. really i love you all and you all know that. you are all so different but yet so wonderfull. in the death of oogle it has been a great distraction given that im pretty much housed bound.

but

MSN HATES ME

i have installed it 3 times and yet it still boots me off, takes ages to open or not open at all. it freezes, doesnt let me view emoticons, rarely lets me recieve nudges. why msn? why????????????????????????

the other bad thing about msn is that it allows my chav ex to flirt with me. stop. it. now.

ahh looking back on the 7th today made me happy and think to the future when we do other things and kim, ikke and chris visit and when i visit sara in il,

good tiimes

attack of the nipple pic

2009-01-17T13:27:00.000-08:00

there are few thing likely to cause harm on a lesbian webforum.

fake cheerleaders and their lover cindi - deemed ok

people posting about fucking 13 year olds - deemed ok

arguments that decend into racism/islamophobia/anti semitism/bi phobia - deemed ok

what is not ok however is nipples

so it comes to pass that it is the end of the oogle thread.

we did have a good run and i loved it.

however i dont see why that has to mean the end of the following threads:

friends without borders

i like to google

does anyone have or use...?

um - i miss those threads

i loved fwb. it was a great idea and tool for meeting friends. trolls aside.

my dears we need a new thread. one we can oogle in, banter in and frollick likelittle lesbian/bi lambs.

sadface

love to you all

shit music vid part 2

2009-01-04T09:00:00.000-08:00

now, i love this song. but.... wtf is going on here then?

i saw it on mtv two without the black censored blocks. shes totally naked which is... well nice of her but what is the point of this madness

come dine with me

2009-01-04T08:54:00.000-08:00

so i have the house to myself. i have no complaints about my lovely new lodger whatsoever but its rare i get an empty house. but right this minute i do. what better way to spend a day off than to watch 5 episodes in a row of come dine with me. that ive already seen. im fucking obsessed with it though. from tomorrow it goes daily on day time. its enough to make me want to give up work. for those over seas who have never seen the show it goes thusly

5 (or 4 nowadays) strangers take it in turns to throw each other a dinner party. snarky voiceover ensues. someone invariably gets blotto drunk and falls alseep. theres always a horrible bitch women and or snobby pretentious guy there. see it sounds rubbish. but its not. promise.

shit music videos

2008-12-31T08:38:00.000-08:00

part one of, um i dont know, many.

now dont get me wrong, i love steps as much as the next person. more so im sure. i used to fancy claire soooooooo much. i was really too old for my steps obsession, i should have known better. but as in thrall to them i was i always knew this was shit.

still, atleast its festive

5 years later

2008-12-08T14:44:00.000-08:00

swantea

2008-12-08T14:25:00.001-08:00

captain tid

2008-12-08T14:20:00.001-08:00

genius!

2008-12-06T11:13:00.002-08:00

cheryl cole you are fucking mint! having diana sing girlfriend on x factor. inspired!!!!!

*edit* and having alex do please dont stop the music!!!!!! fan-fucking-tastic!!!!!!! you are a fucking genius cheryl

its getting exciting

2008-12-06T10:50:00.000-08:00

im lovong strictly and x factor now. strictly is soo tough to call but i think tom and rachel in final and rachel to win. then marry me. austin out this week please.

xfactor should be simpler. alex is miles ahead of the competition imo. if she doesnt win the british public are twats. which they are anyone as darling ruth has gone and the quigg is still there. so quiggle out this week then jls or jsl i never remember then diana and alex in the final. alex to win. and marry me

all the cool kids are doing it

2008-12-06T08:23:00.000-08:00

the question/shuffle mp3 player game

set your mp3 player to shuffle and use the song titles to answer these questions

my mp3 player is jokes

Will it be ok? had enough

How are you feeling today? kamikaze

How do your friends see you? its all true

Will you get married? in public

What is your best friend’s theme song? beautifull
What is the story of your life? girlfriend

What was high school like? i found out

How can you get ahead in life? i dont need a man (so true pussy cat dolls, so true!)

What is the best thing about your friends? im a lady

What is tonight going to be like? here comes the serious bit

What is in store for the remainder of this weekend? drop its like a hot

What song describes you? i dont know what to do with myself

To describe your grandparents? forbidden love (eeeuw)

How is your life going? give it 2 me

What song will they play at your funeral? children of the revolution

How does the world see you? disco heat

Will you have a happy life? in the company of women (lol again so true, thank you the long blondes)

What do your friends really think of you? dont falter

Do people secretly lust after you? 10 x 10

How can I make myself happy? easy

What should you do with your life? D.A.N.C.E.

Will you ever have children? dont give up

oooh oooh oooooooh!

2008-12-01T04:37:00.000-08:00

ooooh! ok enough ooohs. emma bunton is the newbie on loose women. i know that this will probs not mean anything to anyone other than me and amy but im excited and happy.

i love/fancy emma bunton

i love loose women so much it makes me want to be unemployed

in shit news the lorenzo has been booted from x factor. i iz saddened. i may have shed a wee tear. if alex does not win now im going to ballistic. if pumkin headed eoghan (why not just spell it owen ya twat?) wins i will go ballistic and stab myself in the eye. seriously how did he stay and ruth gets kicked off????!!!!!

cougars

2008-11-30T15:08:00.000-08:00

in other news although i am a perv obv and have been liking the younger ladies it seems the older peeps like me. recently i have been

kissed on the neck twice by a 60 something lady at work

been given a number by a 60 something man who wanted to take me for lunch but hes on le tv so i cant name names alas.

had a 62 year old swiss woman get nakey infront of me and ask if she could buy me.

and been asked back to hers by a woman whos atleast 20 years my senior. twice.

it makes me feel young though. today at work i was speaking to a 16 year old about cheese music and she hadnt heard of 2 unlimited. i felt fucking pre historic

soz folks

2008-11-30T14:34:00.000-08:00

i has been working/partying etc

here be my excuse why. for your amusement some pics of me watching my voogleage back

animals that creep me out

2008-11-25T14:25:00.000-08:00

pigeons obv (evil)

snakes - evil and deadly and cold blooded

sharks - jaws scared the shit out of me and i though sharks would come out my toilet

dolphins - inteligent and friendly my arse. they are creepy and have creepy dolphin smiles

trolls - not real animals but nevermind

swans/geese - aggressive and pecky

perez hilton - fame whore and outy

rats - the pigeons of the ground

open letter

2008-11-25T08:13:00.000-08:00

Dear Faker,

It has recently come to our attention that a person facilitating the ‘After Ellen’ website is using faux avatar pictures in an attempt to deceive other members. Whilst it is a right of members to display an avatar of their choice, we feel that it is fundamentally dishonest to purposely deceive other members and to present an element of their identity falsely. The whole purpose of the ‘After Ellen’ site is for lesbian and bisexual women all over the world to meet and discuss issues concerning them. We feel that this blatant attempt to not only fool other members into thinking that you both look like photos you have clearly found on another website, and to mislead members about elements of your personality; completely defies the honest and open nature and intentions of the website.

In this day and age, the internet is making an increasingly large impact on our lives. It is a tool to meet new people, make new friends and find out information quickly. Frankly, it has been ruined by people such as yourself, who, in varying degrees, assume an identity that they have no right to assume. Yes, the internet is anonymous. Yes, that can be liberating. But that does not mean we should all mould ourselves into something that we are not. ‘After Ellen’ is a site that allows women to explore and talk about their feelings, regardless of their appearance. By presenting yourself in this way, you make a mockery of the intentions of the site and everyone who is a member there. It’s a little disappointing. It is a shame that you are so insecure about your looks that you feel you need to pretend to be a range of different, beautiful women just to fit it. You presume that appearance is all the women there are interested in, which is false. In that way, you insult us.

Yours sincerely,

Coalition Against Faux Lesbians

voogleage

2008-11-23T11:03:00.000-08:00

i intended an outdoor voogle today but rain called off play so its kinda half and half. also its lame. and im much geekier than i previously thought i was. basically - yes mel, i am lame.

ps, while i wait for the link for the voogle to come up in my youtube, today brain told me today that he watched some of sex and the city th other day and was very shocked that the word cunt was said and that they talked about rimming. bless him. hes naive.

ok lameness

no snow... : (

2008-11-23T03:46:00.000-08:00

i intended a winter stylee voogle today in the park with the snow we were promised. but alas no bloody snow. and lots and lots of rain. so meh to that. i shall do in indoor voogle later when brian has got out of bed and my hair is less like that of a scarecrow. i know i has promised team msn voogleage for days but voogling scares me and im v bad at it. but it shall be done. im even going to try and break the 2 minute mark. eep!

madness and such

2008-11-22T11:35:00.000-08:00

i have been very conflicted as to talking about myself here. but i shall. in feb i was found to be moderatly/severly depressed with a side order of anxiety. as anyone with depression knows depression is a harsh mistress. i had to take three weeks off work, i couldnt eat, think about anything, people tried to talk about it and i wouldnt. at the mo im not too depressed but the anxiety keeps biting me on the arse. i keep freaking out, alot. i have no reason. ps i was lame as fuck last night. ignore me. but i keep freaking out alot with peeps. im a mental

coughs and sneezes

2008-11-22T03:25:00.000-08:00

and all that. so its my weekend off and im in bed under two duvets. im so cold i cant even get out of bed to change the channel on 'the hills' which may be the worst tv programme ever in the world. also last night i got hugely drunk on not much alchohol which does not bode well for the meet up of the 7th (aka the most exciting thing ever). i must have some vodka trainning as not to shame myself infront of the pretty ladies. ok i will blog properly later when i can actally feel my hands.

much love y'all

camden voogle

2008-11-17T12:18:00.000-08:00

i 'ahem' accidentally bumped into mel in camden today so we decided to give a voogle/shout out.

its somewhat ramshackle and silly as you might expect.

and it was really dark so you cant really see us.

and my hairs all flat cos we got rained on.

and le blooper

For Tea and Toast

2008-11-17T11:39:00.000-08:00

mochi and i saw this in camden town and thought of you.

open letter from me to me

2008-11-14T15:26:00.000-08:00

dear katie, you have no money to speak of untill next payday. please stop going going to marks and spencers for lunch. i know their food is delicious and they have percy pigs and the best puds ever (unless mochi can prove you wrong with her eclairs et all) and their lasange is so good id sell an arm for it. ohhhh all their food is teh sex. but you haz no money. stop it now. eat the food you bring to work.

also, brian and mochi are wrong - the pigeons are out to get you. there was between 60 and 4 million of them outside your work waiting to poo on you and peck you and give you diseases. and you arent scared of them anyway, you just dont like them alot. and they make you yelp. and squeek. and flinch. and run away screaming. but you arent scared. no. being scared of birds is irrational. apparently. even though you heard the other day of someone being attacked by geese. and stamped on and everything. penquins are alright though. and that parrot that speaks to you on the kings road. but pigeons are evil and wrong.

also katie - never refer to yourself in the third person again. its totally twatty.

all my best

sensible katie

and i espcially love irn bru

2008-11-13T14:57:00.000-08:00

i have heard that scotland is the only country in the world where coca-cola is not the most popular soft drink in the world. the (soft) drink of choice is irn bru. if you havent tasted said beverage i really cant describe it for you. its toxic orange coloured and tastes like nothing else on earth aside from a random hungarian booze drinky. scottish people love to moan about scotland but they also love scottish things. like irn bru. and shirly manson. and sharleen spiteri. and jenni falconer. i digress. the best thing about irn bru is not the taste, nor its hangover killing qualities, nor the fact that its uber cheap to buy (scottish people dont like spending natch). not the best thing about it is its random/funny/close to the bone adverts. there was once a billboard poster of a cow saying "when im a burger i want to be washed down with irn bru"

and this

team, um.... drunk on camera?

2008-11-12T00:07:00.000-08:00

Kims done it, Mochi has done it. and so i must too. im easily led clearly. heres me drunk/hungover/drunk/hungover in budapest 5 years ago. video made by dearest gay hubby. and no, i havent changed at all in 5 years.

well, my hairs better now but apart from that....

when good models go bad

2008-11-11T11:11:00.000-08:00

ok, as i type this im watching a repeat of the makeover show in america's next top model season two. now i loved me some yoannah house. she was my favourite winner. the eyes, the cheekbones and the hair. i loved the hair. she made me happy in my brain parts. but now im watching the show again it made me remember a post on gofugyourself

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2007/04/yoanna-fug.html#more

they say it better than i could but yoanna - what happened girl?

big pile of bah!

2008-11-11T03:52:00.000-08:00

with a side order of meh.

yesterday was just shit. all shit all day.

thank god my mp3 player is telepathic and the first song that came on when i was on my way to work was this....

what i love most about that sond is just when you think it cant get any more gloriously demented it does.

no idea whats going on in the vid though..

anyway its got me in the mood for big noisy feisty songs

i actually quite love dizzee rascal too so hes going on my big noisy song list. kim, if your reading this, this is britsh ghetto y'all

blondes

2008-11-09T08:29:00.000-08:00

they say that to see what a woman will end up like you should look at their mother. they are wrong.

this is my mother (umm up there, again i dont know why my photos always go to the top of my post).

sir, please take your hands off my mother. its not something i want to see. yup that my mum on new years eve. as you can see i look nothing like her. we both have blue eyes but thats it. pip from my work thinks i should go blonde. i am not a blonde kinda girl. first off i would look like a corpse, secondly having hair my short would mean i would be dying it every two weeks and it would hate me and all fall off. thirdly some people dont go for blondes. i dont in general. there are exceptions of course, la feldman, laurel holloman, kylie and future wife. but generally not so much. i dont know if its because for most of my life pre london i lived with only my mum and i love my mum but i dont be wanting to shctup her lookalike.

basically the ruse of this whole post is to show that pic of my mum and this vid from another great blonde.

no blonde jokes now. seriously. NO BLONDE JOKES!

ruth lorenzo

2008-11-08T14:14:00.001-08:00

you had me worried tonight ruth, truth be told i thought you might have been a goner. you pulled through it which pleased me. laura was great though and im sad to see her go. spesh as fucking daniel is still in it. and eogwen or whatever hes called. sort your hair out boy. alex might be my fave to win. hmmm dilemmas. anyhoo x factor was abit crap tonight and for that i blame mariah carrey. i blame alot of the worlds ills on her. she knows why.

i will not rest untill everyone is the world has seen this

and of course this

all pie, all the time

2008-11-08T13:56:00.000-08:00

im a dirty bitch. for lunch yesterday i had half a banoffee pie and a coffee. thats just filth.

co-incidentally yesterday trish from my work bought me in a fish pie for my dinner. she made it herself. its got scallops in and everything.

trsh is a star. shes in her 60s and quite the random missy. the other week we were talking about indian food (which i love). out of no where she announces "i make good pavarottis". she makes... fat dead italian opera singers....? and eats them...? maybe i should not eat the pie after all.

other quotes of randomness from her.

"i wish i was on the beach in spain drinking champange and eating bread"

"id love a glass of shampoo right now"

"how are you paula?" (my name is katie, theres not even anyone at my work called paula)

theres more but i cant bloody remember them! frick!

lame ass momment

2008-11-06T15:47:00.000-08:00

picture the scene if you will. its hmm, 2001. im in my early 20s. im working in starb*cks. its december. my boss decides we are all to wear santa hats. thats lame. tall, leggy blonde in hat walks in. im thinking im making sure im serving that hot blonde. as she makes her way to the tills i swoop in. she pics up a sandwich. i start to speak and then realise at that moment the hot blonde is cat deely. i say "oh, you get a free bag of crisps (or chips for my american chums) with a sandwich" she starts looking at the crisps. she picks up some crisps and laughs "golden russet, thats a funny name for crisps!" then, and i kid you not, i said this, i say "yeah, it sounds like gusset".

what the fucking fuck did i say that for????????????????????????????????????????????

by this time i clearly have no cool or shame so i ask for an autograph. which she signs "to katie, all my love cat. ps keep your gusset to yourself xxx"

shes so fucking awesome

i am so lame and should never be allowed to speak to hot girls

team insomnia rages on

2008-11-05T15:50:00.000-08:00

well its alright for some - ie americans - ie KKKIIIIMMMMAAAAYYYY....!!!!!!

but i seem to be up till stupid o clock every night now. i can help it. i try and be sensible. i know i should try to sleep. i dont though. alright for those with no fulltime jobs. i may be dead by friday. i do hope not, i love the weekend.

yay for obama. im very happy. i fell asleep at god know what time in bed with my laptop on my chest and my tv on. but it was a happy election sleep.

blah, blah, ahhh...

2008-11-04T15:24:00.000-08:00

ok day starts, tired, red eyed and back to work. tube for an hour. boring kidsfloor, everyone looking at me like they think im a junkie cos i look so tired. lunch - boring cous cous (but choc dessert from m&s - yay). blowing up ballons for in store event tomorrow. out of work late. tube for an hour again. but then cheered up by lovely ladies. omg i havent done ae in like a day and a half. i hate having to work. my cheer up song.

rarrrrr!

i wanna be a rock/popstar

2008-11-03T16:59:00.000-08:00

i wish i was musically blessed like PA or ikke. then i could join a band. i have narrowed it down to two bands.

either

the northern new wave of the long blondes. witty, funny and oh so retro

or the glitzy pop fun of girls loud.

i love this so much

2008-11-03T09:03:00.000-08:00

Liz feldman, i think i might love you slightly. i was actually going to post earlier asking where you were as i was expecing you back on the interwebs in october. then you give us this

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

i need this just out back though. for totes.

oy vey

2008-11-03T02:40:00.000-08:00

my giddy aunt im tired. take two good things (number 1 being that stalwart of bored people that is msn, number 2 being hot and funny lesbian and bisexual girls) mix em up and what do you have? Hilarity, dirtiness, clumsiness, videos (not thoses kinds you pervs), an ongoing coversation about what film is the descent and what film is the cave, frequent confusion, hot tub chat, crazy peeps on buses chat, mild arguements in japes, spooning, forking, complaining of lack of couching forking and such like, myday, meet up plans, bagel chat and a whole lot more. what you dont have, however is an fucking sleep. Eternal Junkie (leader of the nocturnals), Potential Angel (leader of the hot tub), Ikke (leader of the lovelyness) and KIIMMAAY (leader of the awesome) i salute you ladies. i also kinda hate you for the amount of tired i am right now. i will check with the others to see if i can mention names.

ps Eternal Junkie - i can understand why you are addicted to Eternal, they were spectactular.

pps - i would like all my friends to blog please. and to send me the links to the blogs they aleady have please ;p

awesome

2008-11-02T10:08:00.000-08:00

and celeb team no bra

2008-11-02T04:44:00.000-08:00

eva mendes is teh sex. i was so gutted that i was flu ridden when she did the in store appearence in harrods. or was it harvey nics? i cant remember but i would walk over hot coals to perv at her in real life. she just seems so...... naughty.

needless to say its not safe for work

celebrity team bra

2008-11-02T04:18:00.000-08:00

i love me some ms minogue. my first concert was kylie for my 10th birthday. perhaps the only good thing about mad bitch ex girlfriend was that she got me tickets for kylie at wembly for my 21st bithday. my love for kylie endures. i love her, ive loved her for like 17 years, i will always love her. observe

KKKKIIIIIMMMMAAAYYY....!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-01T15:13:00.000-07:00

in part one of a series of my internet crushes

Kim, let me count the reasons that you are awesome

you are totally hot

you are as funny as many tonnes of frack

this picture (i dont know why its up there)

you has cats

you like girls aloud

you sing in public and film it for our entertainment

you party like a rock star

then grope your friends

this voogle

kim, i want to party like a rockstar with you

you can grope me anyday

and you joined team bra

*swoon*

edited for more love

joining team insomnia

2008-11-01T06:10:00.000-07:00

i think im on my way to joining my friends smith and amy in the nocturnal team. its like team bra, just at night or something.

last night was halloween. a night i enjoy in theory. in reality however, half of stratford was closed off my police and a group of about 50 or so young arseholes proceeded to thrown fireworks at each other. i saw all these kids larking around and im like, ok whatever so i walk into the middle of it and i see a ruffian type boy through something and it occurs to me that what hes thrown is on fire. then i realise, yup, thats a firework about a meter from my foot. so i scarper and see 3 armoured police vans drive towards the mellee.

watched 'funny games' with brian. shit, that is an intense and hardcore film. its good though.

to soothe my frazzeled mind

climbing in trees with boys

2008-10-30T15:47:00.000-07:00

drunk trthis is my friend JC. drunk. in a tree. yes you know whats going to happen. still though wait till about 2mins 30 secs. its worth it

f*ck me plumps

2008-10-30T07:55:00.000-07:00

seen outside a shop in east london

also those arent even all plumps. some of them are keewees

my future wife. possibly.

2008-10-29T13:00:00.000-07:00

ok, i have a friend (yes, really!). lets call her Girl Interrupted. shes the cute blonde sweetheart to my brunette dirty perv. recently we were talking and shes agreed that in 9 years time if we are both single then we are to be married. heck, if im seeing someone in 9 years i may dump them for her blonde goodness.

we have decicded to have 4 cats. shes promised me regular sex and i have promised to do her ironing. thats devotion, i hate ironing. i will cook for her and buy her white chocolate. and she will give me regular sex. (sorry to labour the point but its been a while). here is a pic with me and my intended. check out the look of jealousy from lesbian in check shirt behind us. ha ha bitches! shes mine! maybe. in 9 years. Girl Interrupted - you complete me whoreface. i mean home girl.

on becoming lady on a period stereotype

2008-10-28T16:12:00.000-07:00

yesterday, as established was my birthday. it was a fairly crap birthday all in all. however i was suprised to find myself blinking back tears in my supermarket. then i realise ok, period is here. i hate that i am such a cliche during my period. im a laid back girl. i never shout, i never lose my temper, i am, in a word, chill.

but yet...

i have had to stay away from my housemate today as i know im going to be a massive bitch.

i went to supermarket, bought ben and jerrys, cheese and milkshake. then got hugely pissed off at EVERYONE in the supermarket.

went to bed with hot water bottle.

went out again for chocolate.

refilled hot water bottle.

then cursed myself for the massive amount of horny i get on my period.

fuck.

the incredible likeness of samantha ronson

2008-10-28T14:34:00.000-07:00

ok. first of all where the frack was antm last night living tv? most haunted live all night? really? fuck right off!

secondly twice in two days i have been told i look like samantha ronson. i have never heard this before. on asking more opinions apparently i do indeed look like the li lo loving one. now heres my deal, previously i have been told i look like beth orton. i do indeed concurr. once i was told i looked like uma thurman. i disagree wildly but YAY!!! on that site that compares you're face to celebs it came back with selma blair. again i disagree but YAY!!! once more. samantha ronson, though, i think is wildly fugly. shes gotten better of late but i still would not touch her with a 10 foot dildo. (oow). i appreciate this is a matter of taste and each to their own and hell shes snagged li lo whos hot hot hot and ive enjoyed rude dreams about. however im sailing on a wave of noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! right now. mehhh.

text on pic of me courtesy of beloved gay hubbie

i haz a blog

2008-10-27T11:32:00.000-07:00

blame my flatmate for his nagging. blame smith. and her funny ass blog. blame whoever you want. nontheless i have taken the step into bloogysphere. well today is my birthday, i have hit 27 (eep, late twenties!) and i must say im not feeling joyfull about it. but its all going to be ok. i have glowsticks, i have glitter spray, i have red wine and i have a caramel donut. and i have cheese but that goes without saying, i always have cheese. if for some reason all cows,goats and sheep died an i was left in a world without cheese im not sure that would be a world for me.

if you are someone who knows me and are reading this you will surely be used to my ramblings and love of cheese. if however, you are a stranger to me im sorry for the ramblyness. i really cant help it. i think so far the highlight of my b'day has been the love from the oogle thread on Afterellen.com. i have had birthday wishes written on the boobs of a lovely lady for cripes sake. who couldnt love that? exactly, no one.

well i shall be settling down for a very lesbian bridget jones stylee evening of the aforementioned treats and america's next top model. (tyra i salute you and your lovely weaves) then maybe the sex and the city movie.

over and out

strict. xx